First Trimester To-Dos

FIRST TRIMESTER

Get prepped and ready early: Here's everything you need to know (and do) during your first trimester.

With doctors, finances and everything else to think about, things can get pretty overwhelming planning for baby. Use this handy guide to keep track of your progress... and to keep your sanity!

Weeks 1-8*

[  ] Take pregnancy test

[  ] Tell your partner the good news

[  ] Find an OB/GYN

[  ] Schedule prenatal checkup

[  ] Research insurance — how does it deal with pregnancy and children?

[  ] Make sure partner has short and long term disability

[  ] Figure out how pregnancy, baby and maternity leave will affect finances

[  ] Create a savings plan for your child's future expenses

[  ] Make a budget to start saving now

[  ] First prenatal checkup (week 4-8)

Weeks 8-12

[  ] Start buying maternity clothes

[  ] Chorionic villus sampling

[  ] Nuchal translucency screening (week 10-12)

[  ] Chromosomal disorder screening (week 10-14)

[  ] Doctor visit

*We start counting pregnancy from the last menstrual period

Sex Ed For Baby-Making

We’ll take up where high school health class left off. Here’s everything you need to know about how to make a baby the old-fashioned way.

When to do it

You’re most likely to get pregnant if you have unprotected sex in the five days before you ovulate, or on the day itself. And the number one mistake women make when they’re trying to get pregnant? Not getting the timing right.

Counting day one of your period as day one of your cycle, most women ovulate about 14 days before their next period. So if your cycle varies between 24 and 30 days, you’ll ovulate somewhere between days 10 and 16. Once the egg is released from the ovary, it’s only receptive to sperm and able to be fertilized for about 12 to 24 hours, but sperm can remain viable for days after intercourse...which is why you can have sex days before ovulation and still get pregnant. If your cycle is very regular you have a good idea when you ovulate. If not, it might make sense to buy an over-the-counter fertility monitor to help you get the timing right.

How often to do it

Logic tells us that if a little is good, a lot is better. But that’s not the case with intercourse when you’re trying to get pregnant. Sperm counts may actually be lower if men ejaculate too often. On the other hand, if men don’t ejaculate for weeks, the sperm are relatively old and may not be as capable of swimming and fertilizing an egg. So many experts have concluded that sex every other day—and not more than once a day—is ideal for baby-making.

How to do it

The good news is, you don’t have to read the Kama Sutra or do any daredevil acrobatics to get pregnant. Nor must you rely on the missionary position night after night. No study has ever found that one position is better than another for conception success.

Some experts still recommend the man-on-top position, so that the sperm is deposited closest to where it’s supposed to be, at the top of the vagina. And some women trying to get pregnant avoid being on top for fear that gravity will be working against the sperm, and that it will leak out immediately. But sperm are speedy swimmers, and once they’re out of the gate they’re on their way to the fallopian tubes within seconds.  The stuff that leaks out after sex is just fluid and some dead sperm.

What to do immediately afterwards

Some experts do recommend staying in bed anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour after intercourse to keep the sperm pooled at the top of the vagina. A woman can put her knees up to accentuate this position, or she can place her feet on the wall with her hips on a small pillow, which works even better.

Don’t feel like lying around? Other experts don’t believe there’s much medical basis to recommend it anyway. So lie around or not—you decide. One big afterglow no-no: Don’t douche, which can increase the risk of pelvic infection and lower your risk of getting pregnant. Another thing to avoid right after intercourse: anything that will raise your core body temperature, meaning no hot tubs, saunas, or long runs.

Making conception sex fun

Trying to conceive can be stressful on a relationship. So anything you can do to make it more pleasurable and fun is great. Sex toys are a good idea, though obviously be careful to keep them clean.

And while lubricants may make intercourse more comfortable, be careful to choose a “safe” one if you’re trying to make a baby. There are now a number of “sperm-friendly” lubricants on the market. Or you can try canola oil, which has no effect on sperm. One other option: Tell your husband to work a little harder!  Make conception sex fun with lots of foreplay, so you’ll get lubricated on your own.

Birth Baby and Beyond Magazine

Checkout Beautiful Baby Skylar on the cover of this weeks online magazine!! Read about Skylar, when can I take my newborn out in public, legs cramps during pregnancy, and much more!! All you have to do is flip through the pages and click or tap on the article you want to read!! Download http://www.flipboard.com for a complete view of this issue and to subscribe to my magazine!! Thank you for sharing @alwayzsitnpretty  Click on the link below read more!!  

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Eating Right When Pregnant

Good nutrition during pregnancy, and enough of it, is very important for your baby to grow and develop. You should consume about 300 more calories per day than you did before you became pregnant.

Although nausea and vomiting during the first few months of pregnancy can make this difficult, try to eat a well-balanced diet and take prenatal vitamins. Here are some recommendations to keep you and your baby healthy.

Goals for Healthy Eating When Pregnant
▪Eat a variety of foods to get all the nutrientsyou need. Recommended daily servings include 6-11 servings of breads and grains, two to four servings of fruit, four or more servings of vegetables, four servings of dairy products, and three servings of protein sources (meat, poultry, fish, eggs or nuts). Use fats and sweets sparingly.
▪Choose foods high in fiber that are enriched, such as whole-grain breads, cereals, pasta and rice, as well as fruits and vegetables
▪Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals in your daily diet while pregnant. You should take a prenatal vitamin supplement to make sure you are consistently getting enough vitamins and minerals every day. Your doctor can recommend an over-the-counter brand or prescribe a prenatal vitamin for you.
▪Eat and drink at least four servings of dairy products and calcium-rich foods a day to help ensure that you are getting 1000-1300 mg ofcalcium in your daily diet during pregnancy.
▪Eat at least three servings of iron-rich foods, such as lean meats, spinach, beans, andbreakfast cereals each day to ensure you are getting 27 mg of iron daily.
▪While you're pregnant, you will need 250 micrograms of iodine a day to help ensure your baby's brain and nervous systemdevelopment.
▪Choose from a variety of dairy products -- milk, cheese (especially cottage cheese), yogurt -- as well as baked potatoes, cooked navy beans, and limited amounts -- 8to 12 oz per week -- of seafood such as cod, salmon, and shrimp.
▪Choose at least one good source of vitamin C every day, such as oranges, grapefruits, strawberries, honeydew, papaya, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, green peppers, tomatoes, and mustard greens. Pregnant women need 70 mg of vitamin C a day.
▪Choose at least one good source of folic acid every day, like dark green leafy vegetables, veal, and legumes (lima beans, black beans, black-eyed peas and chickpeas). Every pregnant woman needs at least 0.4 mg of folic acid per day to help prevent neural tube defects such as spina bifida
▪Choose at least one source of vitamin A every other day. Sources of vitamin A include carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, spinach, water squash, turnip greens, beet greens, apricots, and cantaloupe.

8 Ways To Deal With Pregnancy's Aches And Pains

SECOND TRIMESTER

Let's face it, pregnancy can sometimes be one huge pain in the butt. Find out how you can stay comfy despite it all.

As you've surely learned by now, pregnancy comes with lots of aches, pains and strange symptoms. The good news? All that soreness means your body is getting ready for delivery! As you get further into pregnancy, your ligaments loosen up to give baby more room to break out of your womb... which unfortunately leads to feelings of wobbliness and pressure for you, especially around your hips and pelvis. You might not feel total relief until baby is out of your belly and in your arms, but here are a few ways to ease the aches... at least a little.

Take a hike
Okay, not up Pike's Peak, but at least a nice stroll. Keeping light exercise in your routine can energize your body and help you cope with the sore spots.

Eat right
Managing your nutrition increases energy levels, keep your weight gain in check and gives your body (and baby!) an overall advantage.

Kick back
Don't be ashamed to just lay back and kick your feet up when you feel like it. (You definitely deserve it!) Propping up your heels helps blood flow and reduces the risk of clots and swelling.

Take a dip
The soothing weightlessness of swimming (or just goofing around in the pool) can help ease some of the pressure on your body and provides a bit of low-impact exercise.

Heat it up
Try placing a heating pad at the small of your back to soothe the soreness. To make your own heating pad, fill a cotton tube sock with plain white rice, tie up the loose end, and pop it in the microwave until it's nice and warm (about one and a half to two minutes).

Get a rubdown
Ask your partner to give you a nice massage to help relax your muscles. His handiwork will also help your body release pain-blocking chemicals (endorphins) and get your mind off the aches by increasing feelings of intimacy. Ask him to try different things like pressing firmly on your lower back or working his knuckles up and down the sides of your spine. Be sure to let him know what feels good!

Cushion while you snooze
If you haven't invested in a body pillow yet, now's the time! Sleep is often comfier with a pillow between your legs or under your back. Some women like to place one under the small of their backs, too.

Go alternative
If you still aren't getting relief, consider alternative therapies like yoga, acupuncture, acupressure, reflexology or meditation.

Do Dads Suffer Postpartum Depression?

By: Anisa Arsenault

The stigma around postpartum depression is lessening; we talk about it more and more, making it easier and more encouraged for women to seek treatment. But does the same hold true for dads?

One in ten dads will suffer frompostpartum depression. And a new study highlights the negative effects this could have on parenting as children grow into toddlerhood.

“The fact is that, given that there’s often two parents in the home working with the child, both parents’ depressive symptoms can have a very similar level of effect to the point that both need to be addressed,” says Sheehan D. Fisher, a co-author of the study.

Researchers from the Northwestern University study followed 199 couples during their child’s first six weeks of life and circled back again after 45 months. Partners individually filled out questionnaires evaluating their levels of depression, along with their children’s feelings and behaviors. The findings? A dad with baby blues can have just as much effect on a child’s behavior as a depressed mom.

“Typically, in our culture, fathers haven’t been considered as integral in a child’s care,” Fisher says. “Now that there’s been a transition for fathers being more involved, I think that we’re just starting to see that we need to focus on both of the parents.”

And focusing on those needs is important. The sadness and lack of motivation associated with postpartum depression can result in a less engaged parent.

Birth Baby and Beyond Magazine

Checkout gorgeous mom-to-be Relda on the cover of this weeks online magazine!! Read about Relda, 5 things you didn't know about newborn sleep, using an epidural during labor the benefits and risks, and much more!! All you have to do is flip through the pages and click or tap on the article you want to read!!   Click on the link below to read more

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Download http://www.flipboard.com for a complete view of this issue and to subscribe to my magazine!! Thank you for sharing @theredheadchic Also checkout Relda as my cover photo this week on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/birthbabyandbeyondpregnancy

Endometriosis During Pregnancy

PREGNANCY PROBLEMS

Have endometriosis and wondering how your condition will affect you and baby throughout pregnancy? We've got all the answers.

What is endometriosis during pregnancy?

Endometriosis is when the tissue that usually lines the uterus grows outside of it, and on and around the pelvic and abdominal organs. If you have endometriosis, you’re probably wondering how it will affect your pregnancy.

What are the signs of endometriosis?

The most common symptoms of endometriosis are abdominal pain, heavy periods, painful intercourse and severe menstrual cramps. You might also experience fatigue.

The good news is: While you’re pregnant, you might actually get some relief from your endometriosis symptoms. “The high levels of progesterone during pregnancy often induce a bit of remission,” says Sharon Phelan, MD, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at the University of New Mexico.

Are there any tests for endometriosis?

Yes and no. Ultrasounds, CT scans and MRIs may be used to rule out other conditions. But endometriosis can only be definitively diagnosed with surgery, since a doc actually needs to look around in there to confirm you have it.

How common is endometriosis?

About 7 million women in the US have endometriosis.

How did I get endometriosis?

No one knows for sure. One theory is that certain women are genetically predisposed toward endometriosis. Another is that it’s caused, at least in part, by “backward” flow of menstrual fluid, which can cause normal menstrual fluid to leak into the abdomen. A third theory is that the disorder might be caused by a problem with the immune system.

How will my endometriosis affect my baby?

It shouldn’t. At least one research study suggests that endometriosis increases the risk of preterm birth, but most women with endometriosis have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies.

What’s the best way to treat endometriosis during pregnancy?

You probably won’t be able to treat it during pregnancy. Outside of pregnancy, it’s often treated with hormones or surgery.

What can I do to prevent endometriosis?

There’s really no way to prevent endometriosis.

What do other pregnant moms do when they have endometriosis?

“I have stage IV endo, but my pain has always been only during cycles, other than some digestive discomfort due to adhesions (and this was a larger issue at the end of my pregnancy). My surgery didn't help me pain-wise.”

“When I got pregnant, it took about three months, but all the pain did subside. Breastfeeding helped, but my menstrual cycle started up six weeks after giving birth (I owe that to being put on birth control pills). I would recommend breastfeeding exclusively after birth because it did really help.”

Healthy Alternatives To Water While Pregnant?

What are some healthy things I can drink while pregnant other than water?

“Putting anything and everything over ice will increase your hydration,” says Laura Riley, MD, director of labor and delivery at Massachusetts General Hospital and author of You & Your Baby: Pregnancy. Sure, juice and ginger ale have a lot of sugar, but if you’re not drinking a lot of them and you’re watering them down with ice, they’re perfectly acceptable.

Other healthy choices include skim milk and sparkling water (we like to squeeze in fresh citrus fruit). But don’t feel guilty if you indulge in something you should be cutting back on. “One cup of coffee isn’t going to do any harm,” says Riley. “Just keep it to less than 200 mg of caffeine a day.”

Saving up for Baby

Get the lowdown on just how much baby's going to cost — and learn how to save up now.

The baby bucks can add up quickly, especially when you factor in things like lost wages and child care — not to mention the optional luxuries, like a doula or night nurse. Of course, some of you living in large urban areas may wind up spending even more than this huge chunk of change, while others across the country may get away with spending much less. The out-of-pocket expense can vary dramatically based on the cost of living in your area, your health insurance plan, the amount of gear received as gifts, whether or not your MIL is up for babysitting, and so on.

Check out the figures below — we worked with financial experts to get a handle on the basics. Let this be your inspiration to write down some numbers of your own and do a bit of math with your better half. Happy baby making!

SUPPLIES: $6,500

Nursing + Formula: $1,000-$2,500 
For the first six months, your baby will only drink milk. If you are using formula, the typical baby will drink an average of $35 worth of formula a week. That adds up to about $1,820 over one year. After you introduce food, around the six-month mark, you will need to add an average of $3-$4 per day to that, given that a jar of baby food costs about a dollar — adding up to an additional $1,095 or more.

Ways to save: Breastfeed as long as you can. Buying an electric breast pump will run you anywhere from $150 to $300, compared to the $1,000 to $2,500 spent on formula for a whole year. If breastfeeding isn't an option, buy formula and baby food in bulk. Or you can also puree your own baby food once your child moves to solid foods.

 

Nursery Setup: $2,000 
There are several must-haves. For a crib with a mattress, you’ll spend anywhere between $160 and $750, depending on what style and brand you go with. You’ll also need the following:
Bedding set ($35-$270)
Crib blankets and sheets ($8-$20 each)
Mattress cover ($10-$20). 
Beyond the crib, a changing table will cost somewhere between $70 and $600, then add $40 for a changing pad and cover. Buy one that’s convertible to get more bang for your buck. 
A dresser ranges between $90 and $650; and finally, you’ll spend $90-$500 on a rocking chair, if you want one.

Ways to save: Do your nursery furniture research and prioritize. You may want to spend more on the rocking chair to use for future generations, and less on the crib and dresser.

 

Baby Gear: $425-$2770 
Get a good stroller ($50-$800). Investing in a high-quality stroller is especially important if you do a lot of walking. Other items for outside the nursery:
Car seat ($40-$280)
Playpen or portable crib ($60-$180)
Baby carrier or sling ($40- $180) 
For at home, you may want a play center ($50-$125); a swing ($45-$200); and a bouncer seat ($30-$120). And you’ll definitely need a baby monitor (about $30-$300); a high chair ($45-$240); a diaper bag (about $35); and a baby gate ($35-$250).

Ways to save: Buy double-duty gear. Some strollers convert to high chairs for an easy switch at the restaurant; and many diaper bags can take you from newborn to toddler in function and style.

 

Diapers + Supplies: $1,000 
Newborn babies use an average of 75 diapers per week and up to 320 diapers per month. At about $.25 per diaper, that adds up over the year. Tack on at least two boxes of wipes per month ($3 each), and baby soap, lotion, powder, oil, and diaper rash ointment (about $14 month) and you have an additional $240 per year. Cloth diapers will save you money, if you plan to do the laundering, however using a diaper service costs about the same as disposable diapers.

Ways to save: Buy diapers in bulk and online. You can save between 5% and 10% through large orders and online deals. For instance, on Diapers.com, you can get 50 Huggies brand diapers for $12.99. If you go to CVS, you'll end up paying $12.49 for 40 Huggies brand diapers.

 

Clothes: $1,000 
On top of maternity wear for those nine months, invest in staple items for baby. You’ll need:
Sleepers ($8 each)
Hats ($5 each)
Booties and socks ($2-3each)
Gowns ($8 each)
Outfits for warm and cold temps (about $15)
Coats ($25 each)
Shirts and pants ($10 each)
Considering you’ll go from 0-3 months to 3-6 months, 6-9 months, and so on, you’ll need several sets in every size.

Ways to save: Buy outfits in multiples. Stock up off-season, and if you see something cute on sale, get it in two or three sizes to save money down the line. Scout out hand-me-downs from parent pals, or check out consignment shops for gently used clothes at a discount.

 

OTHER (OPTIONAL) EXPENSES: $24,200

Maternity leave: $8,400 
Depending on your salary and work policy, you’ll end up with lost wages after taking 12 weeks maternity leave. The typical policy will pay between 60% and 70% of your gross income for the first six weeks. With an average 50K salary and a policy that doles out 60% of wages for the first six weeks and no wages for the second 6 weeks, you’ll end up with $8,400 in lost wages after 12 weeks. Below is a quick breakdown of lost wages on a 50K salary. This number increases as your salary increases. (And, this is, of course, presuming you are in the nearly 60 percent of American workers who are eligible for the Family and Medical Leave Act these days.) 
First six weeks: $2,400
Second six weeks: $6,000
Total: $8,400

Tip: Whether or not you’ll receive salary while on leave, map out your expected income and expenses for during this time to make sure you can make ends meet.

Child care: $9,000 
Childcare is a biggie, considering that costs range from $5,000 - $24,000 per year, depending on the city and childcare center. Enrollment at a daycare center costs an average of $12,000 per year. For a full-time nanny in a city like New York, you’ll easily pay between $22 - $32K. 

Tip: Decide whether going back to work or staying at home is the best decision for you, money-wise. Also consider whether your employer will allow you to work from home, or if your parents (or other family members) can take care of the baby while you’re at work.

Health Insurance: $4,800 
It costs an average of $400 per month to add a dependent onto the average health insurance plan. Before you commit to a plan, sit down and compare your health plans to find out which one is the most comprehensive and cost-effective.

Support Services: $500 - $2,500 
Lactation consultant, doula, night nurse, birthing coach — decide whether you’ll need an extra hand for the first couple weeks. Coaching and a helping hand before and after baby arrives will allow for more relaxed parents and a happy baby.

Life Insurance: $500 
Run the numbers using one of many online worksheets to find out how much life insurance you really need to buy. You’ll have to estimate the number of years you want to support, and any other big-ticket items (mortgage, college) you want to cover. For a 30-year-old seeking a 20-year-term, $500,000 life insurance policy, you’ll pay about $30 a month. For a 40-year-old, the monthly premium falls between $30-$40 per month; and between $83 and $92 for a 50-year-old.

Ways to Save: The younger you are when you commit to a policy, the cheaper it will be. Also, many companies offer better deals to those in good health – so taking care of yourself by doing small things – like not smoking – can earn you a discount.

 

Legal Fees and Will Preparation: $1000-$4,000 
Between updating your will — to name a guardian for your child and outline financials in the case of your passing — and updating your 401K or retirement account, you’ll incur some legal fees. A simple will costs about $400, and a more customized document can cost between $1,000 and $3,500.

GRAND TOTAL: $30,000 and up!

OTHER EXPENDITURES TO CONSIDER 
Pre- and post-natal healthcare and hospital stay (if uninsured): $5,000-$8,000
New car to accommodate baby gear: $10,000-$40,000
Renovations to set up baby space: $1,000-$5,000

 

Birth Baby and Beyond Magazine

Checkout Beautiful Baby Tori on the cover of this weeks online magazine!! Read about Tori, 23 ways to soothe a fussy newborn, taking medication during pregnancy, and much more!! All you have to do is flip through the pages and click or tap on the article you want to read!! Download http://www.flipboard.com for a complete view of this issue and to subscribe to my magazine!! Thank you for sharing @torismommie Click on the link below to read more!!
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Also checkout Tori as my cover photo this week on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/birthbabyandbeyondpregnancy 

How to Raise a Happy Baby

From the moment we first see their slimy little (but totally adorable) heads, we want the best for our babies — and that includes their happiness. And believe it or not, we can influence just how happy they are now and in the future. Here’s what you need to do.

Respond to Her Cries

Sounds obvious, right? The trick is to create a pattern so baby knows you’re predictable and reliable. This doesn’t mean you have to jump up every time baby makes a peep — there are going to be times when she cries and cries and cries, or when she soothes herself — but it does mean attending to her needs more than the majority of the time.

“Babies go through these tsunamis of emotion,” says Harvey Karp, MD, professor of pediatrics at the USC School of Medicine and author of The Happiest Baby on the Block _and _The Happiest Toddler on the Block. “For babies, it’s contentedness, serenity and security that make them happy. Twenty times a day, something upsets them, and magically, arms pick them up and they’re fed, or someone comes and rocks them.” (So, um, we can relate. It sounds a little like PMS.)

“Babies quickly learn, ‘I like this place and these people. I trust them. People take care of me,’” says Karp. “You’re building a sense of confidence in your baby that things will work out. There’s optimism in predictability for them.” And that can pay off for life.

“It becomes the basis for the other relationships they’ll have — they'll build on that intimacy from the first nine months of their life,” he says. “It’s not to say a child can’t have a happy life if they didn’t have that. It would just be a whole lot harder.”

Learn How to Swaddle

Invest in some easy-to-wrap swaddling blankets — you're going to need them. That’s because, for most babies, being wrapped up snugly is comfy, reminding them of their time in utero, and triggers what Karp calls “the calming reflex.”

“For at least the first four months, all babies need to be swaddled,” he says. “For some, that’s all they need. Others will need [some other soothing method too]. If they’re colicky, they may need three or four or five at the same time to trigger the calming reflex.” (They don’t call moms multitaskers for nothing!) Other soothing methods include shushing sounds, swinging and sucking.

Invest in a White Noise Machine

To create that shushing sound, you’ll want some sort of “white noise” maker. Which is best? Karp says high-pitched noises (think: vacuum cleaner, blow-dryer) can calm a crying baby, while more lower-pitched, rumbling sounds (lawn mower, car engine) mimic what babies hear in utero and can be used to calm them down to sleep. Just be careful not to use something so loud it could harm baby's hearing.

Embrace the Pacifier or Thumb-Sucking

Karp says sucking also triggers the calming reflex. So as much as you’re tempted to have a life without cleaning binkies or to pull your baby’s thumb out of her mouth, let it go for now — it makes her happy. You can worry about giving it up later.

Develop a Ton of Patience

Around eight or nine months, you might look around and realize your baby is a completely different person than she was a few months ago. She’s on her way totoddlerhood. “At eight or nine months old, they will rub or pat your knee when you’re crying. They understand that people have emotions and understand that emotional connection,” says Karp.

Of course, this is also the time when tantrums start. Karp explains that adults use the left side of their brain to control their emotions, but toddlers’ left brains aren’t developed enough to do that just yet. Instead, they’re liable to scream, throw things, hit, spit or scratch — or (if you’re really lucky) all of the above.

Don’t Give In

In order to keep public embarrassment to a minimum — and to teach your toddler better communication skills and emotional regulation — it's important to not give in to her demands when she has a tantrum. Sure, giving her that cookie would get her to stop screaming, but then she’ll just learn that screaming gets her what she wants, and she’ll keep doing it.

Grow a Longer Temper

Another no-no? Flipping out yourself. You want to set a good example for how people communicate and behave.

This may actually take a bit (or if you’re like us, a lot!) of work on your own communication and emotional regulation skills. Find ways to talk to your tantruming child that don’t patronize her or make light of her feelings, but rather acknowledge them. And explain to her once she’s calmed down why she can’t have her way right at that moment. Read on for strategies on how to do it.

Abide by the Fast-Food Rule

Okay, so your toddler is completely wigging out, and you’ve resisted the urge to flip out right back (good for you!). Now what? “Use the fast-food rule,” says Karp. “It’s a way of acknowledging their feelings. Whoever’s hungriest for attention goes first.” In other words, before you say anything, suck up your embarrassment and let her have her tantrum — you're probably not going to get her to calm down right away. Karp explains that telling your child to calm down right off the bat sends her the message that having feelings isn’t okay.

Acknowledge Your Toddler’s Feelings

Resist the urge to lecture your toddler for 20 minutes about why she shouldn’t have a cookie before dinner because it will spoil her dinner, which you spent an hour making, which no one appreciates, but you keep doing it day after day after day...(okay can you tell we’ve been here?) and instead, acknowledge what she’s feeling and say it back to her.

Speak Your Toddler’s Language

This is where what Karp calls “toddlerese” comes in. During an outburst, speak to your child in simple terms she’ll understand — use one- to two-word phrases the way she would, repetition and all.

Karp demonstrates: “‘You really want a cookie. You love cookies. You say cookie now! Cookie now!’ Then once she calms down a bit say, ‘No, no cookies. You’re not allowed to have cookies before dinner.’”

“Say it with emotion in your voice,” he adds. “That makes them feel like you get it. Reflect about one-third of their emotion. People often make the big mistake of speaking in a calmer voice.” But stay away from the sarcastic, angry mom voice — we know it’s there; we have it too! Kids this young really respond to the tone of your voice, perhaps more so than your actual words. Showing your child that you understand the emotions she’s experiencing is likely to prevent the situation from escalating into in an even more blown-out tantrum.

It may seem a little weird to talk this way at first, but give it some practice, and you just might find it works to calm your toddler down when she’s in the thick of a tantrum. Once your child is calm, you can start into your explanation for why she can’t do whatever it is she wanted to do that started the commotion.

The idea is that you won’t be speaking to her this way when she’s 16 (though you might be tempted), and this tactic won’t last forever. You’re giving your child better skills to cope with her emotions and to handle them, rather than letting them take over and explode all the time.

“And they learn to acknowledge other people’s feelings when they’re upset,” says Karp. “They’ll do it with you. And they’ll do it later with their friends. They learn to be better friends and better husbands and wives later in life. They learn to deal with people when they’re upset.”

Now go forth and shush, swaddle and toddlerese your baby into a happy childhood!

10 Babymoon Tips (Second Trimester)

Planning your BabyMoon? Email me at personaltouchtravel@hotmail.com  we'll help make sure your prebaby vacay goes off without a hitch. Read below for your 10 helpful BabyMoon tips!! 

Let's face it: These next few months are probably your last chance for some real alone time with your mate for quite a while. Many couples indulge by enjoying the last bit of sanity in their own homes, but if you're one of us that plans to get the heck out of town (and maybe get a little pampering while we have the excuse), here are a few tips to keep you safe and happy on your last big child-free getaway (aka "babymoon"):

Tip #1: Agree on the Locale
Make sure the destination appeals to you both so you can relax and enjoy your time together.

Tip #2: Minimize Travel Time
Enduring a layover or a 10 hour car ride is no way to start a relaxing trip. Make sure you choose a location that won’t require too much effort.

Tip #3: Travel Now! (2nd Trimester)
The second trimester should be the most comfortable time to travel. By now, the nausea of the first trimester is hopefully a distant memory and you aren't quite as uncomfortable as you will be in a few weeks.(According to the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, the safest time to travel is from 18 to 24 weeks.)

Tip #4: Keep Your OB in the Loop
Traveling presents a new set of hurdles when you’re pregnant. The most important thing is safety,so make sure you speak with your doctor before booking that trip to Madagascar. (Especially if you are carrying multiples or are considered "high risk," don't be too disappointed if your doc wants to keep you close to home.)

Tip #5: Vaccinations
If you plan to travel overseas, check in with your doc about any necessary vaccines.

Tip #6: Check Out Medical Facilities
When researching locations, find out if they have access to quality medical facilities near the area (just in case). Write down the contact info for nearby hospitals to keep on hand as you travel, along with a number for contacting your OB.

Tip #7: Check Restrictions
If you’re flying, check with the airline to be sure they'll let you on the plane! Most physicians say it’s safe to fly up to 36 weeks, but airlines have varying restrictions, including different policies for domestic and international travel. Cruise lines have restrictions too: Royal Caribbean won’t allow you to travel when you enter your 27th week, Celebrity Cruise Lines only allows those less than 26 weeks, and Princess Cruises sets their limit at 24 weeks.

Tip #8: Wear Your Seatbelt Low
If you’re driving, wear the seatbelt with the shoulder portion over the collarbone and the lap portion under the abdomen as low as possible on the hips. You’ll save yourself and your belly from hitting the dashboard in the event of a car accident. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration also recommends moving your seat as far back as possible (and tilting it back slightly) to maximize the distance between you and the dashboard or steering wheel.

Tip #9: Cruising? Not Without a Doctor!
If you plan on taking to the seas, make sure there is a health care provider on board. Many smaller ships (fewer than 100 passengers) don't have medical personnel on staff.

*Tip #10: Keep Your Blood Pumping
*No matter how you're traveling, try to get up and move around every hour or two to aid circulation, and try not to cross your legs - you'll lessen the risk of blood clots. Keeping your tootsies elevated will also help out by preventing swelling and leg cramps. (Once you've arrived, we're sure you can handle the whole "blood pumping" thing on your own...)

#TDT Tasty Dinner Tuesday!!

Your Quick and Healthy Asian Fix

No need for takeout, here’s the healthier version. “This Korean beef broccoli only takes a few minutes to prep and then you marinate it for a couple of hours,” says Lenkert. “After it’s marinated, it only takes six minutes to finish the dish. It’s a really satisfying and super-fast healthy meal.”

*Korean Beef Broccoli
*Serves 4

*Ingredients:
*1 lb. beef top sirloin or rib eye, thinly sliced
1 heaping Tbl. garlic, minced
2 Tbl. onion, grated
3 Tbl. soy sauce
1 Tbl. sugar
1 Tbl. honey
1 Tbl. sesame oil
1 Tbl. sesame seeds, plus more for garnish
Pinch of freshly ground black pepper
4 cups broccoli florets, halved lengthwise
Water, as needed
1 scallion, sliced into thin strips, for garnish

*Directions:
*1. In a large resealable plastic bag, combine the beef, garlic, onion, soy sauce, sugar, honey, sesame oil, sesame seeds and pepper. Seal and refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours.

Steam or boil the broccoli until cooked but still firm. Set aside to cool.
Heat a saute pan over medium-high heat. Add the beef, shaking off any marinade, and cook, stirring frequently, for 3 to 6 minutes, or until done. Add the broccoli during the last 2 minutes of cooking, to heat and coat it with the cooking juices. If the pan gets too dry, add a little water. Garnish with sliced scallions and serve.

Per serving: 247 calories, 9.39 g fat, 10.64 g carbs, 28.16 g protein, 0.19 g fiber, 70 mg calcium, 2.81 mg iron, 649 mg sodium, 67 mcg folate

#TLT Tasty Lunch Tuesday!!

Best Dish for Overheated Mamas-to-Be

“This gazpacho with shrimp is a refreshing and healthy meal,” says Lenkert. “It’s perfect for summer pregnancies because you’ll feel full, but the dish is also light and cool.” The gazpacho is also a great choice if you have morning sickness, since it’s not too filling and less likely to upset your stomach. And even though a gazpacho might seem tricky to make, it’s really not. “You don’t cook that much,” says Lenkert. “You can simplify it and not make your own croutons. You can also go light on the olive oil if you want to eat a lot of helpings.” And if you’re wondering about eating fish, it’s safe as long as you cook it properly.

*Gazpacho With Shrimp
*Serves 4

*Ingredients:
*For the gazpacho
2 lb. ripe tomatoes, peeled, seeded and diced
1/2 cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced
1/2 green pepper, seeded and diced
1 cup water
6 Tbl. extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tbl. sherry vinegar
1 to 1 1/2 slices of bread, torn into small pieces
1/2 tsp. kosher salt

For the shrimp
1 Tbl. olive oil
12 large shrimp, peeled and deveined
Pinch of kosher salt
For the croutons and garnish
4 (1/2-inch-thick) slices of bread, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 Tbl. olive oil
4 plum tomatoes, peeled, seeded and diced
1/2 cucumber, peeled, seeded and diced
Kosher salt, as needed
1/2 red bell pepper, seeded and diced
1/2 green bell pepper, seeded and diced
1 Tbl. shallot, diced
1 Tbl. chives, minced, to garnish
Sea salt, to garnish
Extra-virgin olive oil, as needed

*Directions:
*1. Place the gazpacho ingredients in a blender and blend until very smooth, adding more water if necessary. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve and chill.

Make the shrimp: Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Cut the shrimp lengthwise about halfway down so they open into a Y shape (this allows the shrimp to cook more evenly). Once the oil is hot, add the salt and saute the shrimp for 2 to 3 minutes. Set aside.
Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Put the bread cubes in a mixing bowl, drizzle with the olive oil and toss to coat evenly. Spread the cubes in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake until golden, turning once or twice with a spatula, 15 to 20 minutes. Let cool.
In a mixing bowl, combine the plum tomatoes, cucumber, salt, red and green bell peppers, and shallot, and mix well.
To serve, place three sauteed shrimp in the center each soup bowl. Arrange some of the tomato-cucumber mixture around the edge. Sprinkle with chives and sea salt and top with some croutons. Drizzle with a little extra-virgin olive oil. Transfer the chilled gazpacho to a pitcher. Set the bowls in front of your guests and pour the gazpacho at the table.

Per serving: 384 calories, 28.55 g fat, 22.68 g carbs, 9.53 g protein, 5.16 g fiber, 68 mg calcium, 2.32 mg iron, 426 mg sodium, 90 mcg folate

#TBT Tasty Breakfast Tuesday!!

Protein-Rich Breakfast

If you’re always on the go in the mornings, you don’t need to start your day with boring meals. Try these portobello and black bean breakfast burritos. “This is the kind of breakfast where I would make a few batches of it beforehand and put it in the fridge,” says Lenkert. “Saute the onion, garlic and mushrooms, and cook the brown rice on Sunday, and then put the rest together when you’re ready to grab it and go.” You might want to cut back on the garlic and onion if you’re experiencing too much heartburn.

*Portobello and black bean breakfast burritos
*Serves 4

*Ingredients:
*4 large flour tortillas
1 Tbl. plus 1 tsp. olive oil
1 cup onion, diced (from 1 small onion)
1 tsp. fresh garlic, minced
2 large portobello mushrooms, diced
3 Tbl. lemon juice
1 Tbl. brown rice miso paste
1 Tbl. hoisin sauce
1/2 tsp. kosher salt
1 dash Tabasco (or more to taste)
1 cup canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup brown rice, cooked
4 egg whites
1/2 cup Monterey Jack cheese, grated (optional)
1/2 cup salsa (optional)

*Directions:
*1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Wrap the tortillas tightly in a large sheet of foil and warm in the oven until heated through, 10 to 15 minutes. Keep warm.

Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large saute pan until hot but not smoking. Add the onion, garlic and mushrooms, and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned, 8 to 10 minutes.
In a small bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, miso paste, hoisin sauce, salt and Tabasco. Pour over the mushrooms. Transfer the mixture to a food processor and pulse until well chopped but not pulverized. Return to the pan and add the black beans, brown rice and egg whites. Cook over medium heat, stirring, until the egg whites are fully cooked.
Place a warm tortilla on a plate. Spoon 1/4 of the mushroom mixture, 1/4 of the cheese and 1/4 of the salsa (if using) in vertical rows across the center, leaving room on the bottom and sides of the tortilla. Fold the bottom over most of the filling, and then fold over the sides, overlapping them. Repeat with the other 3 burritos. Serve hot.

Per serving: 642 calories, 12.52 g fat, 84.48 g carbs, 7.50 g fiber, 21.6 g protein, 255 mg calcium, 4.1 mg iron, 1,125 mg sodium, 101 mcg folate

Can I Use Nail Polish While Pregnant?

I've heard something about the dangers of using nail polish during pregnancy — is this true?

There’s been a lot of talk lately about nail polishes that are 3-free, meaning they don’t contain the three toxic chemicals DBP (dibutyl phthalate), toluene and formaldehyde. DBP may cause hormone-production problems in a fetus; toluene may cause reproductive issues, headaches, itchy eyes and more; and formaldehyde can cause breathing problems and even cancer. Who knew a pretty mani could be so scary!

While some experts think exposure to nail polish could be harmful to your fetus, there’s no clear evidence that the occasional manicure or pedicure is unsafe.

The good news is nail polishes by popular brands OPI, Sally Hansen and Essie are 3-free. The bad news is that some other companies’ nail products that were labeled 3-free have been found to contain some of these nasty chemicals. (See a list of those products here.) If that makes you nervous, you may want to avoid nail polish completely (au naturel nails can look pretty too!). But we think it’s okay to choose a 3-free polish by a brand you trust.

If you’re heading to the nail salon for your manicures and pedicures, make sure there’s proper ventilation and that the instruments being used have been sterilized. Ask the nail technician not to cut your cuticles, since you’re more prone to infections while you’re pregnant and cutting that delicate skin could let in bacteria and germs.

Bonding Ideas Dad Will Love

Dad may not go out and say it, but he could be feeling lost, confused and seriously left out. Share this advice for bridging the gap between partner and father.

Lower your expectations

Think fatherhood means love at first sight? Not always. “When you first lay eyes on your baby, there’s this fairy-tale expectation that you’ll feel an instant connection,” says Fred Goodall, publisher of MochaDad.com, a website aimed to help men become better dads. “But it doesn’t happen that way for all dads. You might feel overwhelmed and even empty — and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you; you just met the kid! The connection comes from holding him and feeding him and just hanging out. And it will come.”

You can’t start too soon

“When my wife was pregnant, I made up a song with his name in it and I would sing it to her tummy,” says Chris Pegula, founder of DiaperDude.com. “He would actually move toward me at the sound of my voice. It was awesome! I’d play piano too, and my son would move around in there like crazy.”

The cool thing is babies can hear in the womb and may recognize dad’s voice and songs postbirth. But even if dad’s not musically inclined, he can find a way to participate in the pregnancy — maybe by choosing the perfect car seat or cooking pregnancy-friendly meals. “Getting involved during her pregnancy laid the foundation for me to feel like I had an important parenting role from the beginning,” Pegula says. Of course, it’s never too late either, so even if dad didn’t bond with baby in utero, it’s not like he’s missed his chance.

Simple is good

“Dads will say to me, ‘I just don’t know what to do with my baby,’” Goodall says. “You don’t have to have any grand agenda. You can watch TV or listen to music and just hold him. Let him feel your heartbeat and get to know your voice and your scent. Newborns aren’t very demanding. They just want to be close to you.”

Take over a few feedings

“Evenings were my time to give my wife a break from long days of breastfeeding,” says Pegula. “I got to bond while feeding my son a bottle and played him my favorite classic rock and R&B. I’d sing to him too, and talk about all the fun things we would do together once he was bigger.” Remember: Soon enough, your baby will be picking the music, so enjoy these Wiggles-free days while they last.

Don’t be shy

It’s normal for a guy to be downright scared of being in charge of baby. “A lot of dads admit to me — in private of course — that they’re afraid of breaking the baby,” says Goodall. “I tell them dads have been ‘not-breaking’ babies since the caveman days.” True, dad might sometimes be a little rougher than mom, but that can actually be good for baby, who thrives on a variety of stimulation and should be exposed to different personalities.

Let loose

Dads should feel free to get silly. Pegula says another favorite activity was putting his son in his swing and then standing in front of him. “Each time the swing would fly forward I’d duck, then when it swung back I’d pop up with a silly face and sound,” he says. “My son’s giggle was the most rewarding sound I’d ever heard. And honestly, it’s fun to allow yourself to be a kid sometimes.” And hey, if you’re on your own with baby, your wife won’t even roll her eyes at your immaturity! Score.

Hit the home gym together

“Babies make great hand weights,” says Pegula. “I’d dance and do squats and bicep curls holding them, and walk around the neighborhood with them strapped to me in a carrier. In addition to the exercise, it was nice having them close to my heart.” That fixes that problem of not having any time to work out, doesn’t it?

Birth Baby and Beyond Magazine

Checkout gorgeous mom-to-be Sasha on the cover of this weeks online magazine!! Read about Sasha, 10 essentials for your hospital bag, how to save money on your babies nursery, and much more!! All you have to do is flip through the pages and click or tap on the article you want to read!! Download http://www.flipboard.com for a complete view of this issue and to subscribe to my magazine!! Thank you for sharing @dollfacesasha_mua  Click on the link below to read more!!

http://flip.it/bmxk7

Also checkout this gorgeous mom-to-be as my cover photo for my Facebook business page by clicking below

http://www.facebook.com/birthbabyandbeyondpregnancy

Diaper Bag Necessities

What you really need to have on hand while you are out and about with your baby.

That cute diaper bag you got at your baby shower probably wasn’t meant to be stuffed until bursting at the seams. Well, the good news is that there’s no need to overpack and lug around a bag that weighs a ton. The following items are pretty much the only diaper bag necessities for when you’re out and about with your baby. Just be sure to restock when you get home, so you’re never without these diaper bag essentials.

Diapers. 
One of the obvious diaper bag necessities, yes, but how many you pack depends on how long you’re going to be out, how old your baby is, and how she’s feeling (if you’re heading to the doctor because your baby has diarrhea, for instance, pack several so you’re prepared for a maximum number of changes). And don’t forget to follow the plus-one rule of baby diapering: Always pack one more diaper than you think you’ll need.

Wipes. 
Tuck them in a reclosable plastic bag or case to use when changing diapers. But don’t just relegate them to tushy cleanup. Wipes are handy diaper bag essentials for other reasons. They're great for cleaning your own hands before and after diaper duty and can be used to remove spit-up and baby-food stains from clothes and furniture.

Diaper cream or ointment.
It’s a good idea to carry around a tube of ointment or cream to use as a layer of protection to help to prevent diaper rash from developing — or to soothe your baby’s bottom in case one develops.

Changing pad. 
Luckily, a pad is one of the diaper bag necessities that most bags already come with, so don’t leave home without it — especially if you’re going somewhere that doesn’t have a changing table (like Grandma’s house). If your bag doesn’t come with a pad, add your own, but choose one with a washable or wipe-off cover. In a pinch, you can always use a towel or cloth diaper, but be careful — they aren’t waterproof and won’t be able to adequately protect carpets or furniture.

Extras
Depending on how long you’re planning to be out, other diaper bag essentials you should pack are a burping cloth, a bib, a ziplock bag for dirty diapers, and a bottle of formula if you’re not breastfeeding. Consider packing a replacement outfit for your baby if she’s prone to spitting up or tends to produce diaper blowouts (lucky you!). And don’t forget a bottle of water and snack for you. (And if the diaper bag’s doing double-duty as your purse, toss in a small bag where you can stash your cash, keys, and cell — that way you won’t be rooting around for your essentials when you need ’em.)

#TLT Tasty Lunch Tuesday!!

Enjoy your lunch Expecting Mom's!!

Lunch

Roast beef pita sandwich: 1 small whole-wheat pita, 2 ounces sliced lean roast beef, 1 ounce Swiss or cheddar cheese, 1 teaspoon honey mustard and 3 romaine lettuce leaves.

10 cherry tomatoes

1 medium peach

8 ounces reduced-fat milk

Top 10 Pregnancy Fears

Need a reality check? Find out how valid your pregnancy paranoias really are.

Between all the stress of planning, the crazy new body changes, and the laundry list of dos and don’ts that come along with pregnancy, it’s no wonder why having a baby can bring along a ton of new worries. But while some fears may be totally warranted, let’s be honest; we’re all probably guilty of letting at least a few irrational ones freak us out more than they should. Read on as real mamas (and some of our favorite bloggers) spill their biggest pregnancy fears — and we weigh in on just how likely they really are, after all.

1. Laying on my belly (and squashing baby)

Real mom fear:"I was always afraid I was going to somehow roll onto my stomach while I was sleeping and crush the baby! It makes me laugh now - it was almost impossible for me to move, I was so big; so the idea of rolling onto my stomach while I slept is pretty hilarious." — Heather of The Spohrs Are Multiplying

Reality check: Boy do we hear this one a lot. And it makes sense – with all that’s going on in there, it's easy to wonder how baby will be protected if you accidentally roll onto your belly in the night. But the truth is, you can relax – your body was made to make plenty of room for baby in there. And according to New York OBGYN Dr. Ashley Roman, in the early stages of pregnancy, it’s perfectly safe to sleep on your stomach. Once your belly does start to grow, though, it won’t be comfy (or even possible) to lay for long periods on your stomach anyway; so you'll probably change positions on your own in your sleep long before you could do any harm to baby.

2. My face changing

*Real mom fear: "My number one fear was that my nose would spread. What I mean is, I remember an older friend that got pregnant while I was in college, and her nose nearly doubled in size. It grew in width and depth. As her pregnancy progressed her nose seemed to swell in proportion to her belly!" — Jolawn of Spelhouse Love
*

Reality check: Okay, yes, this one's true. (Well... sorta.) During pregnancy, Dr. Roman admits that some women do seem to notice significant facial changes. But a lot of this has to do with the weight gain, water retention, and hormonal shifts that are going on in your bod. The good news is though, they should subside after delivery once the hormones calm down, or as soon as you shed the baby weight. But even in cases where people claim the changes don’t subside, they aren't usually that dramatic. So if you're freaking out that you’ll one day look in the mirror and find a different person staring back, don’t. It's most likely all in your head.

3. Eating something that would harm baby

Real mom fear:"I was worried I’d inadvertently eat something or do something that would harm the baby. I was constantly reading pregnancy books and checking labels to make sure I wasn’t eating natural cheese or nitrates or consuming too much caffeine. I lived much of the pregnancy in fear and I attribute that to over researching everything. I Googled every symptom and twitch and had my doctor’s office on speed dial." – Shannon ofPotamus Prefers

Reality check: With all the “eat this, not that” advice you get during pregnancy, it's easy to sometimes over-obsess about every little thing you come into contact with. But aside from the biggies like raw meat, seafood, unpasteurized milk or cheese, and of course booze, there aren’t too many things that are way off-limits. Even caffeine – commonly touted as unsafe during pregnancy – is still allowed in moderate doses. So don’t stress too much about food dos and don’ts. As long as you keep a generally balanced and healthy diet, and are aware of what's in your food before eating, baby should be A-okay.

4. Losing the baby

Real mom fear:"My biggest fear was miscarriage. And it was a choking, constant fear — because at the end of the day, there was nothing I could do past eating healthy and resting to keep my baby safe and healthy.  Every moment that I stayed pregnant, I felt like getting on my knees and kissing everyone in thanks." — Beth Anne ofThe Heir to Blair

Reality check: It can definitely be hard to get over those all-too-real fears of losing baby. And when it comes to the possibility of pregnancy loss, your fears are definitely warranted. But it’s also important not to let these fears rule all of your thoughts – and to know the stats. Most miscarriages happen within the first trimester and occur within about 15-25 percent of all pregnancies; but from about twelve weeks onward, Dr. Roman assures that the risk is dramatically reduced. So if you’ve made it past the 14 week mark, your risk of miscarrying is actually somewhere around one percent.

5. Baby will be deformed

Real mom fear:"During my first pregnancy I was afraid of everything and my biggest fear was that I would have a hermaphrodite baby. I saw this program on the Discovery Channel about kids who were born with both male and female genitalia and for the rest of my pregnancy I was like 'I'm definitely going to have a hermaphrodite baby.'" – Heather Armstrong of Dooce

Reality check: Luckily, the odds are on your side on this one. Hermaphrodites (or intersex babies, as they’re now called) make up a measly one percent of all live births. As for the chance that baby will be born with other physical deformities, recent stats say only three percent of all babies born in the U.S. wind up with significant physical birth defects each year (though this number reflects a very wide range of defects, big and small). While the rates are pretty slim, it's definitely still possible. But until you know for sure, try to curb some of your anxiety. (And lay off any documentaries on delivery mishaps, pregnancy phenomenons, or any other crazy-making programs that may lead you to freak out — it won't do you or baby any good to worry.)

6. That the baby weight will never. Go. Away.

Real mom fear:"Should I admit this? My biggest fear with my pregnancies has been that I was going to gain 50 pounds and hang onto half of it for the rest of my life. When the second trimester hit during my first pregnancy, I was as hungry as a horse and it seemed like everything I ate stayed right on me. It felt like if I ate a carrot, I'd gain a pound. The numbers I saw on the scales scared me to no end." – Crystal ofMoney Saving Mom

Reality check: Sure, maybe not everything will look exactly how it used to after you give birth (unless you’re Gisele); but you can't psyche yourself out about losing the baby weight before baby even arrives! You’ve probably heard this one a million times, but it bears repeating: If it took nine months to put the weight on you can’t expect it to disappear overnight. Make that your mantra. Plus, remember that everyone loses weight at different paces, so resist the urge to compare yourself to other mamas who are jumping back into their skinny jeans right away. And whatever you do, definitely don’t compare yourself to all those celeb mamas who seem to regain their beach bodies five seconds after being wheeled out of delivery.

7. My water breaking in public

Real mom fear:"I was afraid to go anywhere for fear the dam would break. What in the world would I do if I was driving, grocery shopping, or eating at a restaurant and my water broke? How could I explain the wet seat or my wet pants? And would I be able to run fast enough out of wherever I was before anyone noticed? These concerns kept me home-bound." – Erica of Sweet Leigh Mama

Reality check: Okay, this one could definitely happen. (Sorry.) While your water could break at any time, it’s usually preceded by some warning contractions, which will give you a heads-up that baby’s almost ready. And even if it comes with no warning, there probably won’t be as much fluid as you think. Some women say it’s only a trickle, though there are many women who remember it as a "gush." But hey, either way, YOU’RE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT! It’s not like you don’t have a good excuse for why your pants may be inexplicably wet.

8. Going into preterm labor

Real mom fear:"I was so afraid I was going to have my twins prematurely. At first I thought I was being paranoid, but I actually did end up almost losing my twins around 21 weeks. I required an emergency cerclage for a shortened cervix, and my water around Baby A was punctured. I spent five months on bed rest before delivering healthy, albeit small, twin girls at almost 37 weeks." – Jennifer of The Foster Family

Reality check: According to Dr. Roman, preterm labor does affect about 12 percent of all pregnancies in the U.S., but most of these cases pertain to moms who are already at risk of it and have been forewarned by their docs. This happens mostly in cases where there’s a history of preterm birth, the pregnancy is with multiples, or Mom's uterus isn't fully formed. But even so, there are many moms who do actually deliver preterm without any warning or any of these symptoms. So if you’ve been nervous your water will break early, don’t worry – you’re not completely crazy. Just calm yourself with the realization that the odds of this happening are actually pretty small and keep in constant contact with your doc if you're high-risk.

9. Peeing my pants in public

Real mom fear:"All I can say is hello, incontinence! Every time I would laugh, sneeze, cough —or God forbid do any of the above while walking or moving around — my bladder would let me down. I wore very long shirts in case it ever soaked though." – Erica of Sweet Leigh Mama

Reality check: Yep, we’re not going to lie here, it's pretty much a given that you’ll have a few leakage scenarios at some point during your pregnancy. When you’re creeping into the latter stages of pregnancy, sudden laughter, sneezing, or coughing are basically sure-fire ways to bring on a little surprise dribble or two. But will it turn into a full-on pants-wetting situation? Probably not. A little snissing here and there happens. And hey, that’s why they invented panty liners. So our advice: Stock up and learn to laugh about it.

10.  Being able to care for a newborn

Real mom fear:"I worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of a baby. I'd never even changed a diaper before my daughter was born!" – Suzanne (Duff), from My Mom Genes

Reality check: The good news is, while the newborn stage is definitely hectic and exhausting at times, it probably won’t take you long to realize that just like pregnancy, you can survive this too. Looking back, even Duff admits that as soon as she brought her baby home, she figured it all out pretty fast, despite it being "a comedy of errors" at first. So even if you've never laid eyes on a diaper, haven't a clue about swaddling, or aren’t yet adept at snapping a squealing baby into a onesie, don't worry – it’s not rocket science. You'll get there soon enough.

By Kaitlin Stanford

10 Things You Didn’t Know About Being A Stay-at-Home Dad

For men and women, being a stay-at-home parent has some pretty similar ups and downs. But there are surprising things that separate the sexes — and not every dad will admit them.by Adrian Kulp

If you would’ve told me three-and-a-half years ago that I’d eventually become a full-time stay-at-home dad for a couple of toddlers, I would’ve socked you in the shoulder and said, “Good one. What else ya got?”

But I left my TV executive job in Hollywood. I traded in the personalized parking spot and corporate card for potty training and temper tantrums.

So here I am, on a Thursday morning in my kitchen, clutching a cup of tepid coffee with my eyes closed, silently praying for a moment of serenity as my kids fight each other with a yardstick and plastic sword. I’m thinking about all those things we SAHDs never tell anyone.

1. We hate it when people call us “Mr. Mom.”

Do you see me lactating through my shirt or putting on lipstick at the stoplight? No. That’s because I’m a guy. Don’t get ahead of yourself and throw that '80s stereotype on me, or I might have to stop ironing the kids’ grilled cheeses. Why can’t we just be guys that love taking care of our children?

2. We did not 

When my wife asked for the minivan, I thought that she was going to take it to work, not leave it for me. I don’t care if it has all the bells and whistles — it’s still a van. You know why they haven’t made a minivan Transformer yet? Because there is absolutely no way to make a van cool. Talk to me when Michael Bay introduces an Autobot that disarms and fills itself with a bunch of little waist-high Decepticons.

3. Sometimes we get a “headache” when it’s time to have sex.

These kids are tough work. After an emotionally and physically exhausting day, we really just want to curl up with a good microbrew and the little strand of sanity that’s left. Unfortunately, the stress of “put away the toys” time is somehow now carrying over to the bedroom.

4. Sometimes we’re so tired, we sit down to pee.

I’ll admit it. I’ve done it. Go ahead and laugh it up. But it’s not like I was enjoying it — part of the experience involved me with my head in my hands sobbing. It’s the only five minutes I have to myself all day — that is, if you can block out the two toddlers in the hallway banging on the door and asking if I’ve “wiped my wenis.”

5. We’re a little freaked out about our retirement plan.

Stay-at-home moms have dealt with this for decades, and it’s past time we started discussing it. Why is it that I do the hardest job on the planet yet in no way am I getting to put away Social Security? The college kid down the street working the graveyard shift at the tavern gets to. The nanny down the street gets to. Our preschool teachers get to. Explain.

6. We feel weird taking our daughters into a men’s public restroom.

What’s the etiquette here? We don’t know.Personally, I kick the door open and tell anyone that’s in there to get the hell out until we’re done — it doesn’t make the 7-11 owner happy, but this is how I deal.

7. We’re jealous of your yoga pants.

I’m talking about the nice, comfy, form-fitting pants that women get to wear. If we didn’t look like we were smuggling fruit across the border, dollars to donuts we’d be wearing them. They’d be handy on Super Bowl Sunday, Thanksgiving Day, and any day of the week where I didn’t feel like actually getting dressed.

8. We also like wine o’clock.

Except in our world, it’s called Scotch-Thirty.

9. We don’t bite.

Moms, come over and say hi to us. We feel like idiots standing by a tree at the playground while all the moms whisper about “who that strange guy is” over there. We aren’t so different. We’re on the same team and want to commiserate!

10. We love being the MacGyvers of toy-fixes.

This is our passion. We love fixing broken toys, or helping them evolve into the next phase in their life. Putting the head of one doll on another doll’s body is in our genetic code. Step back and let us work.